Friendship – no match for bullying…. Or is it!!!

According to Aristotle as outlined in the Nicomachean Ethics written in the 4^th century BC , friendship is a reciprocal  mutually recognised desired for goodwill between two people. He identified three types of friendship , namely that based on (i) utility which emphasises usefulness rather than mutual affection  eg business partnership (ii) pleasure ie enjoyment or shared interests such as a hobby and (iii) good /virtuous - drawing on admiration, mutual respect  and shared commitment to one another.

Other than love, no other facet of human relationships has occupied more attention in the arts, literature and the social sciences than friendship. The ancient Greeks set great store by the notion of friendship. This is reflected in Homer's epic poem, The Iliad, in which the friendship of Achilles and Patroclus is a key element. It was grief and anger at Patroclus's death that made Achilles return to the battle to take vengeance on Hector. In ancient Greece good friends shared each others' fortunes and misfortunes and supported each other with complete truth and faithfulness.

‘They told me, Heraclitus, they told me you were dead:

They brought me bitter news to hear and bitter tears to shed.

I wept, as I remembered, how often you and I

Had tired the sun with talking and sent him down the sky’

                                                                        William Johnson Cory (19991,p.53)

What is a Friend? : A Developmental Perspective.

At 2 years of age my son Matthew would say `My friend Jac play with me?' by which he meant could we invite the next door neighbour's child over to play with him. In Matthew's eyes, Jac was his friend because he lived close by and was available for play. Certainly children form friendships for many different reasons.

Over time, children's concept of friendship undergoes some developmental change (Brendgen et al, 2010).

younger children emphasise availability, play or time together  

middle school children emphasise trust and cooperation

 Adolescents emphasise sharing, and intimacy

In relation to the growing use of child-care the issue of whether infants and toddlers can form friendships has received some examination. As noted by Sim et al (2010)  friendship research has suggested that young children can establish friendships by the end of the first year with early friendships being identified by displays of affection, eye contact and proximity.

REFLECTION: How would you describe a ‘friend’?  Think about the kinds of friendships you currently have and the purposes they serve?

Friendship and Bullying & Mental Health

It is now better understood that student’s strong positive relationships at school effect student well-being, their engagement with school and their sense of belonging or connectedness (Slee,2017). In turn it is understood that the nature of students school relationships impact on crucial aspects of the school experience such as bullying, victimization and pro-social behaviour. We are by nature social beings who derive pleasure from positive relationships: from hanging out, chatting, joking, dancing, singing, playing games and being intimate. To use the words of Blakemore (2010): “Humans are an exquisitely social species” (p. 744).

Our research  (Slee &  Skrzypiec,2016) has demonstrated that bully–victims and victims who indicated that they had no friends were significantly likely to report poor mental health and well-being.  That is, friendship may act as a protective factor against mental health difficulties and that for victims having at least one good friend may buffer the impact of victimisation on mental health.

Early adolescents who report lower levels of teacher support and higher levels of stress in their relationships with teachers also report lower levels of socio-emotional adjustment and higher levels of involvement in bullying both as a bully or a victim (Murray-Harvey and Slee, 2010). In a special issue of the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology on teachers and classroom social dynamics, Farmer et al. (2011) argue that teachers influence peer relationships directly by imparting information about social rules, and also indirectly, as an ‘invisible hand’ that guides how children form their own rules and norms within their peer groups. Their research points to teacher behavior as a very important moderator in influencing students’ peer relationships in the classroom.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller

For more information on this topic and evidence-based school intervention programs

Please visit our websites : www.caper.com.au 

and <bigtalkslittlepeople.com>

References

Blakemore, S. J. (2010). The developing social brain: implications for education. Neuron, 65(6), 744-747.

Brendgen, M., Lamarche, V., Wanner, B., & Vitaro, F. (2010). Links between friendship relations and early adolescents’ trajectories of depressed mood. Developmental psychology, 46(2), 491.

Farmer, T.W., Lines, M.M., & Hamm, J.V. (2011). Revealing the invisible hand: The role of teachers in children's peer experiences. Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, 32, 247-256.

Murray-Harvey, R. and Slee, P. (2010). School and home relationships and their impact on school bullying. School Psychology International, 31, 271–295.

Slee, P. T., & Skrzypiec, G. (2016). Well-being, positive peer relations and bullying in school settings. Switzerland: Springer.

Slee, P.T. (2017). School bullying. Teachers helping students cope. Routledge. London.

Shin, M. (2010). Peeking at the relationship world of infant friends and caregivers. Journal of Early Childhood Research, 8(3), 294-302.